2012 Haiti Trip (III)

"God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in trouble."

Psalm 46:1, NIV

Finally.
We made it!
We exited the airport.
Our eyes spotted the bus.

We dashed through the sea of would-be helpers and porters (since we could not afford to pay them) and  hastily climbed onto the bus. Once aboard the bus, we were all bubbling with excitement. After all, why would we not be?

We were in Haiti.
We successfully went through customs unscathed.
We were looking forward to all that was awaiting us in Tibouk.

A few moments later, after inhaling some snacks and light refreshments, we prayed and the driver began pulling away from the parking lot. As we went through parts of Port-au-Prince, I could not believe how different things looked from my childhood years. Gone were the paved roads and the working traffic lights. Yet, there was a sense of new beginnings as well. I could see it in the eyes of many passers-by -- they were somewhat more determined, perhaps more driven to survive and succeed as they walked on the street.

We left Port-au-Prince and my mouth dropped.

Before us, there was this newly paved road that looked oh so inviting. On either side of this new two-lane highway, there was beautiful scenery for us to behold. To our left, there was the sea -- so blue, so beautiful, so beckoning. To our right, there was greenery that came in all kinds of shapes, shades, and textures. My heart was drawn to the beauty and I found myself praying and praising God for allowing me to see it. I was encouraged to think that Haiti can indeed rise again.

After a while, the landscape began to change. The more we move towards the north, the more poverty-stricken the towns and people on our path seemed to be. We saw dilapidated houses, naked children, piles and piles of refuse . . . We saw a truck overloaded with merchandise and men, and another that had just been in a fatal accident. Everywhere we looked on the road there were indicators of people seeking a better life, a more secure way to improve their financial state. The state of want was utterly shocking to even me, accustomed though I was supposed to be to Haiti's conditions. The needs were so immense and plentiful that silent tears flew down my cheeks.

Every stop on the road had to be carefully analyzed and planned. Would there be restroom facilities for us to use? Would it be a safe place for a group of Americans to stop? Would we be charged extra just because we look and smell like money to the impoverished inhabitants of the area? Would it unnecessarily lengthen the duration of an already long and strenuous journey?

The two team leaders thought through all such questions and more. It was past 6 pm by the time we arrived in Borgne and we still had a 2-hour bumpy ride ahead of us before reaching Tibouk. We stopped there, stretched our legs, and then proceeded to continue on our way. Several times, I was convinced that the vehicle was going to break down. Other times, when it turned pitch black, I thought of the danger of being stopped by bandits.

There was no doubt about it, my faith was challenged; and I faced fear and discouragement on that first day of our trip. However, God's sustaining hand was guiding us ever more protectively all the way to Tibouk. He taught me to not throw away my trust in Him. He taught me the commitment of perseverance so that when I have done the will of God, I will receive what He has promised me in His Word. He taught me that, indeed, He is a mighty fortress and an ever-present help in trouble.

"Did we in our own strength confide,

Our striving would be losing,

Were not the right man on our side,

The man of God's own choosing.

Dost ask who that may be?

Christ Jesus, it is He.

Lord Sabaoth His name,

From age to age the same,

And He must win the battle."

-- Martin Luther (1483-1546)

Father, I thank You for the wisdom and the discernment found in Your Word that guide Your followers on the strenuous road of faith while on this earth. Thank You for the protection and provision You provide. Help this follower to press on with joy and love in his heart. In Christ alone, I pray. Amen!

2012 Haiti Trip (II)

Despite the peace that I felt within, a lump began forming in my throat as I stepped away from the customer service desk. A college friend who accompanied me on the trip took it upon herself to search for my elusive blue duffel bag, hoping it would magically appear. Yet, all her searching was to no avail. Silent tears filled my eyes as I allowed fear to enter my mind:

How am I going to teach?
How effective can I be without my notes?
How will I ever retrieve my hoped-for materials and belongings?
How am I going to survive without my snacks if I can't eat the food available in Tibouk?

The Holy Spirit shushed me with God's Word to Paul --

"My grace is sufficient for you,

for My power is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV

Comforted and strengthened, I told the team leaders that I was ready to leave and we proceeded to go through customs. By then, all the other passengers had already exited the airport, leaving only this group of 21 Americans at the mercy of money-hungry clerks. As I suspected, two head clerks began inspecting our instruments, medical supplies, and anything at all that seemed to scream "money" to them. Soon, the request came -- an astronomical amount of money to let us through. 

Others turned to panic.

Yet, somehow, God's sufficiency kept coming back to my mind.

In fact, as I thought and thought about how sufficient God's grace was for me, my heart became filled with a desire to sing. I heard God's voice say, "Sing!"

"Here?" 

I mean, with all these people around me in the middle of this airport, could I just burst into song? Would that be appropriate?

Within seconds, I realized that God was not interested in my being appropriate; He was interested in my willingness to praise Him and rely on Him. So, I complied.

Soft and low was the first phrase as I began to sing. Then a second and a third erupted into the air. Slowly, those around me began noticing that I was singing and the deafening noise of incessant talking and bargaining lost a bit of its former intensity. After the song ended, I turned to the worship leader who was on the team and asked him if he would lead the whole team in singing. His response was not unlike what I said to God:

"Do you mean . . . here . . . and now?"

My eyes confirmed his request and he started singing,

"Blessed be Your name

In the land that is plentiful

Where Your streams of abundance flow

Blessed be Your name"

Ha! I had not thought of that myself. I had been entertaining the thought of my lack and my want; yet, God is using Matt Redman's lyrics in Haiti to teach me that He is my Shepherd and that He will supply my every need. So, my tenor voice joined in singing:

"Blessed be Your name

When I'm found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed be Your name"

Indeed. I can certainly relate to the desert. However, this is not a pity party; this is praise.

"Every blessing You pour out 

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name"

By now, most of the team was singing. My eyes were closed but I could feel the intensity of the singing all around me and I could hear the bargaining becoming less and less noticeable. The Haitian airport workers were wildly interested in our singing and were paying attention to our faces. Then, I thought: "What does it matter that I have no blue duffel bag with my pre-packaged goods to sustain me?" 

"You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Lord, blessed be Your name"

As the singing came to a close, several airport workers approached us and began talking to us. One, in particular, came to me and said, "I can tell you love Jesus. Your face looks so joyful." God used that man to remind me that as I choose to praise Him with sincerity of heart, others will come to see Him in me. Soon after that, our team leaders returned from the bargaining booth telling us we were free to leave. In fact, as I understand it, we did not have to pay anything.

So, in the end, much more was accomplished without my luggage than would have been had I had it with me all along.

We were then rushed outside and made our way to the bus awaiting us to begin the long drive from Port-au-Prince to the northern village of Tibouk, Haiti.

It should be smooth coasting from then on, right?

Father, I am so grateful that You are always looking for worshipers and that You will do whatever is needed to get a hold of our hearts. When we are distracted and discouraged, strengthen us with the sustaining power of Your grace. Teach us to stop wherever we are on the road and simply worship You. In Christ, I pray. Amen!

2012 Haiti Trip (I)

Tick, tock goes the clock . . .
. . . and it is time for me to re-open the lock.

I am back.
What a break!

From June 29 until August 19, I took a long pause from blogging which interrupted the sharing of my story. There are several reasons explaining the pause but I will mention two big ones because those two serve as a wonderful segue between the first part of my story and the ensuing phase of my spiritual journey.

The first reason is my 2012 Haiti trip.

As soon as I finished posting "Deadly Exposure" on June 29, 2012, my mind became consumed with preparations for my 2012 Haiti trip. Since 1996, I have been going back to Haiti at least once a year to volunteer my time as a music teacher at a wonderful music camp in the North of Haiti -- a camp that was [and has been] instrumental in the deepening of my faith and the developing of my new nature as a man sold out to God. (Several entries will be devoted to that later)

Yet, this year felt very different. For one thing, I did not go to Haiti in 2011, which created a sort of break in the long streak of going once a year. I felt somewhat disconnected since the two-year hiatus prevented any kind of instructional continuity to remain between me and the students I knew. To make matters even more disjointed in my mind, I was to go to a new location (a place I had never visited) with new people (whom I was scheduled to meet upon arrival) and possibly teach entirely different students (whose musical talents and proficiency levels I would not know until I arrived on site).

My questions were:

What do I do?
How do I prepare?
Will I even be effective?
Should I just stay home?

Well, I prayed and prepared the best I could -- teaching materials, healthful snacks I knew I would need as a vegetarian, songs for me to sing, gifts for people I encounter, etc. I left OKC on July 18 in the late afternoon, made it to Miami (after a layover in DFW) at 1 am on July 19, caught a hotel shuttle around 1:30, slumped in bed at 2:00, woke up at 4:45 am to meet the other team members, and together we headed to the Miami international airport from where we flew to Haiti.

Once we landed in Port-au-Prince, we went to the baggage claim area to collect our belongings. Guess whose luggage decided not to make it to the Port-au-Prince Mais Gate airport that morning? Yes, you guessed it:

Yours truly! (bowing)

My luggage was nowhere to be found -- including all the teaching materials I carefully prepared, the snacks I eagerly packed, and the gifts I tenderly wrapped. Talking to the AA baggage clerks only confirmed what I had already imagined -- it was an oversold situation and my luggage simply did not even get on the plane leaving Miami. I was given a notice containing a claim number and a phone number to check on the status of my suitcase. However, having mentally tallied the severe costs of time, money, and energy required for a 14-hour trek from Tibouk to Port-au-Prince, I knew right then and there that I would not have access to my suitcase for a while. Tears filled my eyes as I contemplated spending potetntially 11 days in total need, total dependence, total surrender to God's provision.

Then, it dawned on me that my predicament was a test which challenged me to behave with integrity:

Would I trust God or would I fret?
Would I deny my flesh or would I cling to my perceived rights?
Would I honor Christ with my response or would I discredit His name?
Would I curse ineffective individuals or would I bless them with my forbearance?

Once I realized what that test entailed, a peace that passes all understanding rushed inside of me and I was still. I thanked the baggage clerks for their help and chose to trust God. That was only the beginning of a trip that was packed with unexpected twists and turns on the road -- all of which combined to further transform my heart into one in desperate need of faith.

Father, how can I keep from shouting Your praises? Your hand is ever guiding, ever molding, ever touching, ever soothing, and ever moving me closer to Your heart. Help me to love You more and more on this journey. Amen!