I made it to the gate of the primary school.
So far, so good!
I quickly examined my uniform.
Everything is in order.
There was nothing I could see that would prompt the first graders to be mean to me.
Let's hope I'm right; heaven knows I've been wrong before. Sigh!
"Courage, Lou!" I muttered under my breath. I forced my feet to walk onward and plastered on a smile in an attempt to undo the worry lines which have creased my forehead ever since I started school.
I was early -- the first one to arrive.
Yes!
I met the teacher.
What a gracious lady!
Things were beginning to look quite rosy for me.
This is good.
Then . . .
. . . other children started coming in en masse and, soon, the classroom was full. Upon quickly surveying my new classmates, loud and irregular thumps replaced my regular heart beats. They seemed bigger and older than the kindergarteners.
Uh, . . . anybody could've told you that, Lou.
They seem bigger and older because they actually are.
My palms began to sweat and my body was shaking. Would they be mean to someone younger than they? Would they befriend me?
I was nervous!
The teacher introduced me to the class. She explained how I spent only the first trimester in kindergarten before I was admitted to first grade. She expressed that it was an honor for her to have me in first grade. She proceeded to say how gifted I was and that a bright intellectual future awaited me. She went on and on in laudatory comments about me, scarcely knowing that she was digging my grave.
Well, they were mean to me. I was called atrocious names which need not be repeated. Ever. I was so despised during the 6-month span I endured with the first graders that I never became close to any of them. As a result, I developed this morose, melancholy inclination that further separated me from the world around me. I kept myself busy doing things that would take my mind off of my troubles.
I devoured books.
I learned as many songs as was humanly possible.
I memorized poems.
I requested more chores.
But, I did not confide in anyone. I erroneously convinced myself that no one could ever understand. Worse yet, I refrained from going to the Source of all comfort.
I stopped praying.
I stopped paying attention to God's Word.
I stopped reading the Bible altogether.
No wonder life was so miserable back then. I did not understand the necessity of prayer for each impasse I faced. I did not appreciate the value of God's command for me to pray, to read and heed His Word. I did not realize that a prayerless life -- a life devoid of biblical meditation -- leaves a Christ-follower vulnerable, powerless, weak, harried, hassled, and demoralized. I did not see that my failure to stay close to God was the very thing that hindered me from seeing His hand at work even in the midst of my problems.
It wasn't until the summer following my stint in first grade that my mind was, once again, renewed by God. It was then that a new path was paved before me.
And I walked in it.
Dear Father, grant that I will not shy away from following You completely. Your way is always the right one. Your way invites me to cling to You, to remain connected through prayer and the reading of Your Word. Remind me that You cherish my prayers and that You keep them in precious bowls in heaven (Revelation 5:8) as a fragrant aroma to Your nostrils. Infuse my mind with an increasing fullness of Your Word so that nothing will hinder me from knowing Your will, Your priorities, and Your direction. Teach me Your way and I will walk in Your truth. Amen!
Uh, . . . anybody could've told you that, Lou.
They seem bigger and older because they actually are.
My palms began to sweat and my body was shaking. Would they be mean to someone younger than they? Would they befriend me?
I was nervous!
The teacher introduced me to the class. She explained how I spent only the first trimester in kindergarten before I was admitted to first grade. She expressed that it was an honor for her to have me in first grade. She proceeded to say how gifted I was and that a bright intellectual future awaited me. She went on and on in laudatory comments about me, scarcely knowing that she was digging my grave.
Well, they were mean to me. I was called atrocious names which need not be repeated. Ever. I was so despised during the 6-month span I endured with the first graders that I never became close to any of them. As a result, I developed this morose, melancholy inclination that further separated me from the world around me. I kept myself busy doing things that would take my mind off of my troubles.
I devoured books.
I learned as many songs as was humanly possible.
I memorized poems.
I requested more chores.
But, I did not confide in anyone. I erroneously convinced myself that no one could ever understand. Worse yet, I refrained from going to the Source of all comfort.
I stopped praying.
I stopped paying attention to God's Word.
I stopped reading the Bible altogether.
No wonder life was so miserable back then. I did not understand the necessity of prayer for each impasse I faced. I did not appreciate the value of God's command for me to pray, to read and heed His Word. I did not realize that a prayerless life -- a life devoid of biblical meditation -- leaves a Christ-follower vulnerable, powerless, weak, harried, hassled, and demoralized. I did not see that my failure to stay close to God was the very thing that hindered me from seeing His hand at work even in the midst of my problems.
It wasn't until the summer following my stint in first grade that my mind was, once again, renewed by God. It was then that a new path was paved before me.
And I walked in it.
Dear Father, grant that I will not shy away from following You completely. Your way is always the right one. Your way invites me to cling to You, to remain connected through prayer and the reading of Your Word. Remind me that You cherish my prayers and that You keep them in precious bowls in heaven (Revelation 5:8) as a fragrant aroma to Your nostrils. Infuse my mind with an increasing fullness of Your Word so that nothing will hinder me from knowing Your will, Your priorities, and Your direction. Teach me Your way and I will walk in Your truth. Amen!
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