And the Bride, Not the Brother, Was Ecstatic

Most young boys could care less about weddings . . . Well, their bellies certainly appreciate the food served at the rehearsal dinner and the reception but for the most part, weddings leave the average young boy simply bored and uninterested.

For me, that was not the case.

As far back as I can remember, weddings always fascinated me. As soon as an invitation made its way into our home, my mind would begin the process of waiting with feverish anticipation and longing for the day of the big celebration. On the day of the wedding, I would don my best apparel and would be among the first guests to arrive at the location. Once there, I would dreamily take in the music with all the different instruments and musicians involved. I could never stop admiring the flowers, the beautiful bridesmaids in elegant dresses, and especially the radiant bride.

Though I also loved receptions and cakes, the wedding ceremony was always the main thing that intrigued me. I would pay close attention to see the transformation that always took place in the eyes of the groom when he would spot the bride being led up the aisle to him. I would also tremble with excitement when the officiant would say to the groom, "And now, you may kiss your bride." 

With ecstatic and expectant eyes, the bride would wait for her newly acquired husband to kiss her. And they would both leave the church with joy and satisfaction.

Well, even at 11, I already began imagining how it would be for me. I wonder what my wedding would entail. Who will be my bride? What will she wear? What music would be played? I kept those questions to myself, not wanting to be ridiculed.

One afternoon, my oldest sister came home with the news of her upcoming wedding . . . and my eyes were soon filled with excitement and disbelief. Finally, there was going to be a wedding in my own family. It did not take long for the whole house to be bustling with sundry tasks, activities, and planning sessions. Everybody was giddy and happy about the wedding.

Armed with uncommon ebullience, I excitedly took my news to my peers at school. The kids looked sincerely interested. Encouraged, I decided to share a bit about my own aspiration to someday get married. I was in the middle of describing what type of music I thought I would want to have at my own wedding when I finally realized that the kids were wearing a completely different expression on their faces . . .

. . .  It was purely condescending pity. And worse, it became obvious that they were trying unsuccessfully to suppress their laughter at my expense. A lonely tear trickled down my left cheek and I excused myself, only to hear a loud guffaw exploding behind my back. Later that week, I shared that incident with a leader from the Boys' Brigade association and what was told me there was even more hurtful:

"Don't kid yourself, Lou; you'll never get married. Where are you going to find a girl who would want to marry you?"

Ouch! What was I thinking? I really must not be a normal human being.

Those hurtful thoughts colored the way I viewed my sister's wedding when it took place a few months later. It negatively impacted my view on marriage, in general, for a very long time. I could not get myself to be truly happy for others because all I kept thinking about was how there seemed to be a huge STOP sign in front of my face.

On the day of my sister's wedding, she was ecstatic. Her face was radiant. She looked stunning in her dress and was grateful to enter the mysterious inner circle of holy matrimony.

But, I, her little brother, was not ecstatic.

I sported a smile but my heart was slowly decaying.

Oh, how easy it was for me to be deceived by the sly serpent of bitterness. I was drinking its poison, completely unaware that I was only killing myself. I was shooting my heart with the following bullets:

I will never be a normal person.

I will always be all alone.

I will never be loved.

Gratefully, in time, all those lies were replaced by the truth of a Sovereign Lord who has made me His heir. He made me in His likeness, declaring me perfect in His sight. He walks with me every step of the way, richly provides for my every need, and loves me unconditionally.

He is my Lover.
I am His chosen bride.
I, too, can be radiant and ecstatic.

Father, forgive me for allowing the poisonous words of mockers and naysayers to affect my view on marriage. You, O Christ, are very much in love with Your bride, longing for the day of Your celestial wedding with the church. On that glorious day, Your church will be truly radiant and ecstatic. May I never tire of counseling my heart with Your holy, generous, and transforming truth! You are love, constancy, intimacy, and transparency combined. It matters not what mockers say -- Your Word is that which will always remain. May I walk in Your truth as long as I live! Amen.