The Language of My Heart

I am a lover of words.

I have always ascribed importance to words.

My heart has always been an eager recipient of words.

The above statements aptly reflect, and perhaps interpret, the reason I have been so deeply affected by the words said to me from the time I was a little boy. 

Words of exhortation from Papi.

Words of encouragement from Manmie.

Words of empowerment from my older siblings.

And, unfortunately, words of derision, ridicule, and scorn from too many -- family, friends, foes, folks of all types and from all walks of life.

For the longest time, Haitian Creole -- the language of the street -- left a sour taste in my mouth because the majority of harsh words and belittling comments thrown at me were uttered in that language. So, I resolved to look down upon that language, sadly not realizing the fault was not in Creole itself.

French, the other language available to me in primary school, was more my cup of tea. It requires a certain finesse that suited my sensitivity and sensibility; so, it readily fed my ego. As a result, it was not at all surprising that I spent much more time on polishing my grammar, enhancing my vocabulary, improving my pronunciation, refining my enunciation and style than I ever did on seeking to reach people's hearts.

At 11, in the midst of dealing with bullies in the back of the classroom on the one hand and carrying guilt about my premature involvement with Aspipa on the other, God paved a way for me to connect the dots between my love for words, the importance I give them, and the necessity for words to reach hearts -- including my very own.

I began learning English.

My English teacher in secondary school was my older brother, my elder by ten years. He walked into the classroom and said, "Good morning." I remember thinking how differently these words fell and landed upon my entire being. It was as if the English language had been looking for me all these years and we finally met. I sensed a burning desire within my breast to learn how to speak it fluently.

So, I eagerly began the process.

In the midst of learning it, it felt more like I was taking a shot in the dark. I did not always sense that progress was cropping up until one fine day it all began to make sense and I could converse with native English speakers relatively well. I studied it some more and my understanding deepened until I became fluent through consistent practice.

In time, I grew to love English so much that I found that it had become the language of my heart. I soon felt that I could think more easily, more completely, more passionately, more thoroughly, and more urgently in English than in any other language.

It was then that God's revelation blew me away. 

"Son," said He, "I have given Myself to you; My Word ought to be the language of your heart. It is unto My Word that you should ascribe importance, passion, commitment, reverence, and respect. It is My Word that you should love and use to reach the hearts of others. It is My Word that should move your own heart. Desire Me, love Me, listen to Me, seek after Me, follow Me, obey Me, wait for Me, and feel Me."

I was speechless.

I, the lover of words, had no appropriate word on my tongue in answer to the Word, Himself.
Why?
The writer of Hebrews explains it in the following terms:

"For the Word of God is living and active.

Sharper than any double-edged sword,

it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow;

it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

Hebrews 4:12, NIV

Gratefully, my heart has received His language.

He has been teaching me to speak it fluently ever since.
I speak it each time I feel tempted, convicted, and laid bare before God's eyes.
I speak it by saturating my mind with the saving truth that revvs up the engine of my heart.

So, whether I use Haitian Creole, French, English, Spanish, Italian, German, Russian, or even the few short phrases I manage to croak out in Cantonese, I pray that I will exude the heart of God's message to the world. May His Word, the true language of my heart, reach the hearts of all who listen to me and may they hear the true Speaker through this lowly messenger!

Father, thank You for Your precious Word filled with words of life, words of hope, words of conviction, words of redemption, words of passion, words of love. Help me to daily and gradually take in bite-size portions of the Holy Scriptures through the patient practice of scripture reading, meditating, studying, and memorizing. Help me to hide Your Word within me that it might truly become the language of my heart throughout this journey. In Your precious name, I pray. Amen!