Rating My Life

"Only a few years will pass

before I go on the journey of no return."

Job 16:22, NIV

Growing up in Haiti, I saw some things in real life that most kids living in developed countries are not even allowed to see on the screen. The rating of my life as a young boy would certainly send the average American parent scurrying breathlessly to cover his/her child's eyes. Yet, that was the hand I was dealt.


As an 8-year old, the movie of my life would have earned an R rating for the vulgarity of language I heard outside the confines of my home, the vileness or indecency of moral conduct to which I was exposed at school and elsewhere, and the violence that so often permeated my trips to Nan Miwon -- the public place where I was to fetch water since our house had no running water.

Papi and Manmie did a conscientious and thorough job teaching me and my siblings about propriety and decency. However, they could not shield us from the all-too-often putrid stench wafting from the outside world when we were away from home.

I was awakened at 5 a.m. one morning for my set of  4 daily trips to Nan Miwon. On the first trip, a man and a woman who came after me began to argue over their place in line while we waited for the city to release the water our neighborhood needed. I silently prayed for safety because I knew that a simple argument could very quickly turn into complete disaster. When the water came, I filled my bucket and took it home.

On the second trip, it was obvious that things had gotten out of hand.

I was scared!
I was horrified!
I was petrified to enter the scene!
I was stupefied to witness such violence!

Even from a distance I could tell from the intensity and volume of the sound that it was much more than people bickering. Upon arriving there, I took one look at them and it felt like a knife had penetrated my gut. The poor woman was completely disfigured; it was obvious that she was severely battered, kicked, and mistreated.

I remember looking at the man and felt a wave of anger surging within me. I hated seeing that woman so cruelly treated and discarded as though she was garbage. I loathed the fact that a man would resort to such brutish behavior just to safeguard his place in the water line.

But, no one could have prepared me for what happened next. Not in a million years would I expect to witness the events that ensued.

Out of nowhere came this other woman with a machete in her hand. With one big swipe, the weapon tore through the right side of the man's chest . . . the rest is too painful and too inappropriate to describe.

It was much too much for my young mind to take in.

Later that day, I was not surprised to hear that death had indeed entered the scene.

Death is a daily occurrence everywhere. In my growing up years, however, death was as common as it was varied. I saw a young man running towards Nan Miwon to soak his charred body in water. Unfortunately, he collapsed not too far from my house because the flames lapped up his breath much too soon -- his body was set on fire because he had robbed a house.

A young teenage girl who had attended Manmie's outreach program in the neighborhood lost her life after twelve boys raped her one night. I saw her body and wished I had never seen it.

Those images kept me awake at night as an 8-year old. I could not understand why God would let them happen. I could not accept my own inability to end the pain, the violence, the lewdness, the anarchy that seemed to go rampant all around me. Yet I knew that only He could answer the questions of my heart.

I cried out to God.
I prayed for mercy.
I mourned the loss of lives.
I begged for deliverance and mercy.

I did not receive the exact answer I wanted but one thing that I did learn back then was that life is a journey that is always short. I lived with the notion that my time could come at any given moment and at any given place. It was that year that I joined my family in memorizing Psalm 90. Verse 12 reads,

"Teach us to number our days aright,

that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

The above verse became the prayer of my heart each time I thought about death. It taught me that though a person's earthly journey begins at conception and ends when death tolls its ringing bell, wisdom will guide a person to be prepared for his/her eternal journey. In fact, the events of life, even though rated as unwanted or inappropriate at time, are the very tools God uses to train people in wisdom.

Thus, my heart was consoled and comforted that God's wisdom would always guide my steps throughout my endless journey.

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."

Psalm 23:4, NIV

So, my life is rated as God's training of wisdom. I am forever grateful!

Father, in times of trial You are always there to comfort me and in dark times Your light shines ever more brightly. May the path I take bring me safely to the heavenly palace You are preparing for all who follow You! Amen.