Valentine's Day

"Happy Valentine's Day!"


I remember how I hated to hear those words as early as a 9-year old. 


Why, one may ask?


I grew up with two loving parents and siblings who were . . . well, siblings. They brought along all the delights and quirks associated with brothers and sisters living in tight quarters. One thing was sure, however, I never doubted their love for me.


And yet, Valentine's Day came that year and the for the first time I felt truly sad.  I felt completely left out and purposeless. I could tell that it was not the intention of my family to present it to me in this manner, but I sensed that the celebration of Valentine's Day was only reserved to those who were in romantic relationships or who could aspire to such relationships: 


-  attractive people
-  dating folks
-  lovers
-  married couples 


Inevitably, since my awkward 9-year old self did not fit those criteria, the word left a sour taste in my mouth. I wish I knew back then what I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt. I wish I could have seen the true importance of Valentine's Day.

I wish I knew that it is not simply a Hallmark holiday as some wish to perpetuate. 
I wish I knew it is not about having a good time with a special someone.
I wish I knew it is so much more than receiving flowers or giving chocolate to people. 
I wish I knew it should serve as a reminder to us as fellow inhabitants of this earth to truly love one another in good times and bad times. 


But, I did not know. 


I did not allow myself to hear, to see, to understand, and to experience what my family kept chanting around me:

"Love is patient and kind.

Love is not jealous, or boastful, or proud, or rude.

It does not demand its own way.

It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

It does not rejoice about injustice,

but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

Love never gives up,

never loses faith,

is always hopeful 

and endures through every circumstance." 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NLT

I could not know because the above Pauline quote expresses exactly that which ran contrary to my human predisposition. I was in a hurry to feel good, to feel treasured, to feel important, to feel praised, to feel "loved" by others. Yet I failed to notice that the very ones from whom I expected all this attention had their own unmet practical needs. I also closed my eyes to others who, in my estimation, were undeserving of my love. 


Now, as a 37-year old, I know that I should feel equally ready to bestow love on the unlovely as well as the stunningly beautiful, the poor as well as the wealthy, the difficult person as well as the most pleasant. I should be more kind and patient to the drivers who cut me off on the expressway or the interstate. I should be more ready to learn about those I call my friends while they are still living instead of finding out their true nature at their memorial service. I should be willing to work and interact with those who oppose my ideologies, philosophies, and ways of life just as much as those who couldn't agree more with me. I should spend time investing in the lives of my neighbors and inviting them over instead of living parallel lives in seclusion. In short, I should be unpopular and think of the benefit of others first instead of my own. In an age where self-aggrandizement is the rule, true love is really tough to come by.

So, yes.


"Happy Valentine's Day!" 


I will celebrate love and the relationships I now have. I will seek to remember that true love takes hard work as it is a lifelong commitment to remain true and faithful to my fellow man. 


I will love.

Father, thank You for loving me so unconditionally and so sacrificially. Grant that I may equally love Your other children on this journey of love. Amen!