Prior to my joining the class, there was a boy who used to earn the highest scores in every subject. He truly was brilliant and quite intimidating because of his academic prowess. Unfortunately, he rubbed many of our classmates the wrong way because of his oft-spoken demeaning words alluding to their inferior performance in school.
It did not take long for him to notice that there was some academic aptitude in me -- too much of it, in fact, for his liking. He constantly asked me about my grades and was always relieved to find out that my score was just below his. Though, academically, he was still at the top of the class, he began revealing his concern to others over my gradually turning into such a close second. I am not sure if he felt threatened or what but he soon became less vocal about his superior mind.
When his belittling comments stopped, I found him to be quite pleasant. So, I befriended him. We laughed and played together at recess. Our friendship grew stronger in class as our teacher decided to move his desk closer to mine. I was elated because I felt that I had finally found the trusted friend that I wanted.
All of that changed when the principal of L'Ecole Primaire Mixte Bethanie walked into our classroom at the end of the second trimester to deliver our report cards. My scores were higher than his across the board -- he was livid.
At the beginning of the third trimester, I was sitting in class minding my own business when I was hit with such force that my face felt hot and burning -- I was slapped! I finally turned to face him and he proceeded to slap my other cheek. His eyes were flaring with anger and lines of hatred streaked his forehead as his words struck my ego:
"What will you do about it, sissy boy?"
I will always regret what happened next. So angry was I to be called that despised name by one whom I had learned to like and trust that all hell broke loose and my right hand rose up in the air. I slapped him back on both cheeks with so much speed and rage that all my classmates were stunned.
I was stunned . . . and so, so sorry when I looked at the disappointed look on the teacher's face. I was so ashamed when I looked at my friend and saw how much I had wounded him. I was grieved to think of what I would need to say to my parents once my behavior is revealed to them.
Yet, none of that pierced my heart more agonizingly than when I heard him angrily utter,
"And all this time, I thought you were a Christian!"
Oh, no!
I blew it.
I was mortified.
I messed it all up.
I allowed anger to govern me.
I decided to take matters into my own hands.
I remember thinking of the words of Christ in Matthew 5:39,
"But I tell you,
Do not resist an evil person.
If someone strikes you on the right cheek,
Turn to him the other also."
As a result of not following the way of Christ, I lost that friend -- he never talked to me again. Try as I may, he never responded to my pleas for forgiveness. He never even acknowledged my presence. I learned the hard way that I should not have retaliated. I should have worked for justice but I should not have taken personal revenge. I should have loved him instead.
In the end, all the "should haves" in the world cannot and will not thwart God's plan. Even that royal failure on my part will turn out for "the good of those who love Christ."
Lord Jesus, Your words are so difficult and yet so right. There is always an escape in times of temptations if we but look up to You and deny our flesh. Help me to turn the other cheek -- loving my fellow man as You love Your church. I pray for that friend of long ago; help him to find in You what he could not find in me. Help me to release all the guilt, shame, and remorse at Your feet so that I may be free to follow You more closely with each step I take. Amen!
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