Severing Ties With Lies

Even as a little bitty boy, I was strongly encouraged to be watchful after spiritual highs because they tend to be followed by spiritual lows. Well, I was not mindful of that bit of advice when, shortly after the day of fasting with my family, my faith was severely tested on a multitude of fronts:

*  Pride
*  Ingratitude
*  Impatience
*  Hatred
*  Grumbling
*  Joylessness

. . . and so many more . . .

Unlike Jesus who flawlessly passed the test after his 40 days of fasting, I failed to notice the true nature of the temptations coming my way and I dove head first into them.

One such temptation came in the form of a friendship. I was still 9 years old when a 12-year old boy befriended me and the two of us became inseparable in a matter of weeks. Not a day passed without his coming over to my house to see me. We would play and talk until my parents deemed it was time for him to go home or for me to prepare myself for bed.

My parents and siblings often told me how glad and grateful they were about that friendship -- I think it was their way of encouraging me to develop strong male friendships since most of my friends were girls at that time.

I, too, was glad and grateful because there was so much that was good about that friendship:

It was the first time another boy saw me as I really was instead of as an object of ridicule or pity.
It was the first time that the real "me" felt important to a non-family member.
It was the first time that I truly felt heard and understood.
It was the first time I had a friend outside of school.
It was the first time I could let my guard down.

It was quite euphoric!

Unfortunately, I clung to that friendship so tenaciously that I turned it into an idol. In fact, as if to a powerful drug, I became so completely addicted to that friendship that I soon turned my friend into a personal 'god' -- he was my savior, he was my life, he was my all.

In tendering the most honored seat of my life to another human being, I foolishly allowed my selfish wants and wicked desires to usurp God's authority and suppress the precious truth He so kindly revealed to me.

"You shall have no other gods before Me."

Exodus 20:3, NIV

Instead of glorifying God and giving thanks to Him for the extreme kindness He exercised in providing me with a much-needed companion and friend, I insulted the Most High God by exchanging His glory for the baseness of mortal man whose highest kindness could only pale in comparison to God's. So, as a result, my thinking lost its anchor and my heart followed a progressively darker course, plunging me into a sea of confusion.

This confusion is clearly expressed in Romans 1:24,

"Therefore God gave them over

in the sinful desires of their hearts

to sexual impurity . . ."

In my confusion, I replaced God's truth with lies:

God gave me a good friend. 

I turned His gift into an object of lust.

God gave me someone to shine His light on me.

I opted to let my own darkness repel the light he offered. 

God gave me a buddy to show me the beauty of friendship.

I used him as a romantic character in the wild fantasy of my life.

After a year, I became sick and worried over my friend potentially discovering the shameful lust that kept getting stronger within me. I grew tired of the ever-widening distance that threatened my relationship with the Father. I turned intolerant to the increasing erosion of my faith made possible by my failure to cling to God and His Word. So, I prayed for strength to cut ties with the lies inspired by that friendship.

The tie of that friendship was soon severed. Although a major part of me missed him terribly for a long time, the other part heartily welcomed the gleam of hope that penetrated my soul. I was glad and grateful to be free from the fangs of such impure thoughts . . . at least, for a while. It would take years and years of journeying with Christ before those syrupy lies would be banned from my mind. 

Thankfully, God is faithful. 

Hallelujah!

His love never fails His followers on the journey.

Praise the name of Jesus!

Holy Father, help me to understand that every time I try to hold onto someone or something, I am merely imitating the yearning You have placed in my heart for You. In fact, adjust my perspective so I may clearly see that I can only cling to You because Your hand is upon me with every step I take. Please direct me to cut ties with all the lies I feed my mind so I may follow You in spirit and in truth all through this mysterious journey. In Christ alone I pray. Amen!